Ouch, ouch and double ouch

Yesterday was a memorable day.  I got caught up with everyone talking about the good massages one can get here and at a very low cost.  So, without deep thought, I agreed to join the rest and have a body massage.
It was a two hour full body massage done by Chinese (from China).  We got there for 2 pm the place was decent and clean and all the masseuse looked like little girls.  Unfortunately, they only spoke Mandarin with a spattering of Malay and English.  Laid on the bed face down and she started ... with the neck.  She didn't get very far and I was already saying "ouch"  and she laughed.  I again said "ouch" and she repeated "ouch" and giggled.  I was so glad when she moved on to the shoulders.  The gladness did not last very long.  It started to hurt again and I asked her whether she spoke Malay - negative reply; then, I asked her if she spoke English - negative reply.  I thought I was doomed and so I should grin and bear it. 
Before I knew it, she jumped on to the bed and sat on my legs and started doing my back.  Thank goodness she was a tiny girl.  The lower back was another matter but the most painful was the legs and hips.  My right leg which had been giving me so much trouble since my fall in March, gave out such a loud crack that she was shocked that she asked me "Pain ?"  The little imp could speak or at least understand English.  I was most tense when she massaged my tummy.  I've heard stories that the massages causes gas and so all the time I was so conscious not to make a "noise".  How could I have relaxed?
To cut a long story short, I finally finished at 4.05 pm feeling quite sore.  That is why, for the life of me, I cannot understand how people say that they can sleep when they are having a massage.  My right leg feels so much better and my theory is that I may have jarred the alignment when I fell and she may have released it.  No.5 Masseuse did a good job.  Incidentally, they go by numbers, not names.  And the whole treatment cost RM80.00 i.e. C$26.00!
This morning, my shoulder blades feel a little tender and my calves feel tortured but other than that, I am fine.  I am told I should have another before I leave .... we shall see!