Being alone

Just read my cousin's blog about her mum calling her because she (my aunt) was feeling lonely. Although I am a lot younger than my aunt, I understand her predicament and it did make me feel a trifle sad.

It is not that I want company all the time; it is not that I have to get tons of phone calls every day but some days, only some days, life seems empty and you feel that you've been forgotten. The children are all grown and are very busy with their own lives participating in the rat race and my own friends are also busy with their own families and so, I feel that I cannot or should not bother them. So, I sit at home and try to keep busy. There is only so much cleaning, reading, sewing I can do! After a while, even the cat runs away from all the caressing. Yes, she runs and hides because I am bothering her when she wants to sleep.

When this feeling creeps in, I usually call my youngest daughter in Calgary. Unfortunately, I always call, either on a Saturday or Sunday, too early and wake her up. Sometimes, I call my grand daughters just to hear their voices. Perhaps this is why people who live alone always keep either their radios or televisions on in the background. Worry sets in if I cannot reach any of them or they do not return my call after a long period of time. I think this is the "Mother Hen Syndrome" or the fact that the mind is idle and a lot of negative thoughts creep into it. Who knows?

I have a big regret that I did not speak to my parents more often. The circumstances were different then. They lived in Malaysia and I lived in NY/Canada and it was very expensive to call ... or was that an excuse. I did write often though. Still, knowing what I know now I should have made the effort. Hindsight is 20/20. It is too late now and I hope they didn't feel that they had outlived their usefulness and I pray that they knew that I loved them a lot.

When my cousin urged her readers to speak to their parents more often, I cannot agree more. It will serve dual purpose ... they would feel remembered and you would feel good. It will give everyone a warm fuzzy feeling.

Talking about warm, fuzzy feeling ... I am off to pet the cat. Datin, where are you? Come to Mummy!

My grand daughters

Being a typical proud grandmother, I love to "talk" about my two grand daughters. The older girl will be five and the younger will be 3. They are my pride and joy and my incentive to get up in the morning - anxious to hear the pearls of wisdom and to check out their antics.

I am teaching them about life and choices. They both know that we make choices ... good and bad ones. They know that if we make a good choice "everyone will be happy" but if they make a bad choice, they "get hurt, or sad and Nana will be upset". I have been told that the girls are too young for that. In my opinion, it is never too early to set guidelines, even at 2 and 4 years old.

My 4 year old grand daughter goes to a French school and wouldn't you know it, she is now correcting my limited French. I am so amazed at her enunciation of the words. Many a time, she would say something in French and then translate it for me in English. It is so true what people say about children being sponges... they pick up words you want them to know and also those that you don't. When I repeat a word in French, she tells me that it is "a good try, Nana, because you really don't know French!" Cute!
Last week, I had a friend over for morning tea when I saw the little one running to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, she said "No, Nana, don't come in, I want some privacy". Well, that gave me the impression that she had mastered potty training. I was so excited that I immediately posted it on Facebook. I guess I jinxed it, because the next day, she had an accident on my kitchen floor saying "It came too soon!" Oh well ...

All this to say that I thoroughly enjoy being with the little girls. They give me my daily workout but most of all, they are my sunshine during the long gloomy winter days. I intend to enjoy having them around because, I know only too well, that they grow up so fast!